My Butterflies

When I tried the butterfly project at first I named my butterfly Caleb, after a friend of mine who was hurting at the time. That one sadly didn't even live for two days...  After that however, I sat awake for a long time, rocking back and forth and praying for ages. I felt just so inspired to draw like a bunch of butterflies!

I draw them all on myself, 7 in all, with words next to them that described what they stood for.  I also named them. Will, Cassie, Janelle, Tim, Mike (I forgot the rest).  I then proceeded to make a contract saying that I had to try EVERYTHING before resorting to cutting. I had to pray, squeeze ice, take a walk or a run, and so on before cutting myself because I really did't want the butterflies to die. 

They all reminded me of something:

1. to reach out my hand for help instead of holding back. 

2.  not to look back or think that depression is good, but to look to the future.

3.  hope  Reminding me that I do have hope. 

4. The dead one, Caleb, (which was fading) had words underneath it (probably misspelled): Motive, Mission, Beauty. I wanted to question my motives for things, be reminded myself of my new mission to recovery and the beauty of myself and life.

5. Love 

6. The bright side 

7. Look up.  To remind me to look to God, a higher power, for things. 

and finally 

8.  Change. I tried to make this one look different and resemble crosses because I was determined to change my death, evil ways and come back to the cross.